Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Big Purple Dinosaur

It amazes me how watching one episode of a TV show can change your whole opinion of the characters. Up until today I hated everything about Barney & Friends. Now, not so much. Okay, I still hate the "friends," but ol' Barney's not so bad.

I don't know if it was this particular voice that endeared me to him, as opposed to some of the other voices they have had in the past. But for some reason, I decided today that I like the big purple guy....er, dinosaur. I have never been able to stand him, or his voice, or anything he says or does. But the guys voice today was nice. Not all fakey, hokey, cheesy Barney voice. He sounded like a regular guy. And hey, anyone that can say "Hello. Welcome to (name of country here). Come on in." or something like that in, like, five different languages can't be all bad. Right? So, now that I like Barney, might I change my opinion of the "friends?"

Ummm....no. THEY still bug the crap out of me. I can't stand the cheesy smiles, the random bopping motion, the out of control arm movements when they sing. Drives me crazy! It's like they inject all of the kids who come on that show with some kind of nerd virus. Now be honest. Tell me you never wondered what those kids are like OFF set.

You know little Johnny is sitting in his "dressing room" (which is really a cubicle in the middle of a warehouse) with his mother/talent agent/manager/hair and make-up artist/butt wiper going "I cannot BELIEVE Susie is back on the show this season. She is THE worst dancer on this entire show. Not to mention the most horrible singer on the PLANET! She has no talent. I don't know what the casting director sees in her. Who cares if she is the typical (American/Hispanic/Black/Asian/European) girl. I don't CARE if every nationality and sex has to be represented on the show, Mother. She has no talent whatsoever. And I'll tell her straight to her face the next time I see her!!!! Oh, hey Susie. How are you? Great show today. You sounded really good out there. And that dance number out on the playground was great! You are so good, so much better than Miffy. Okay, bye Susie. See you tomorrow. GAWD, what a witch. I hate her so much. The no-talent loser. She couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. And she couldn't dance to save her life. Okay, Mother. I'm ready to go home. What are you making me for dinner when we get there? I'm starving. Working so hard all day long can really work up an appetite. You should really try it sometime, Mother. Working, I mean. Blah, blah, blah...." On it goes until his mother drowns him in the bathtub, or accidentally leaves him at Disney World on the family vacation. I can just imagine it.

Here's a blast from the past for ya':
I hate you, you hate me
Let's go and kill Baaaarney
With a shot shot bang
Barney's on the floor
No more purple dinosaur.

Although, I guess I shouldn't post that, since I like Barney now. Oh well, it's still fun to sing. Okay, I'm finished with my Barney post. I know, I have far too much time on my hands, and far too much free brain space to be thinking about these things. But such is the life of a M.O.A.P.A.A.T. (Mother Of A Preschooler And A Toddler). The intelligent part of my brain is slowly wasting away, and is being replaced by this....nonsensical dribble. 'Sall good, though. It's kind of fun, being slightly removed from reality. Okay, I'm stopping now. Before I drive MYSELF crazy.
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On another note. WE LEAVE FOR SCRAPBOOKING IN 16 HOURS!!!! Two days, no kids, no husband, and SCRAPBOOKING!!! What could be better?

1 comment:

MrsWndr said...

I'm so jealous you get to scrap. I never do it here. And I LOVE that post by the way. Cracked me up. You've suck a way with words Boo, always have. This green-eyed monster is out of here.