Sunday, April 30, 2006

I'm going underground

I think I've made a decision. I think I'm going to start an anonymous blog. I love writing on here, but there are some things I just can't write.

Pissed at The Hubster? His grandparents might read this. Annoyed at one of my sisters? I know they check. Feeling depressed or guilty about something? Can't air my dirty laundry to my circle of peeps.

So, I think I'm gonna' hide out. I'll still be on here. But I'm gonna' save the juicy stuff for the Anonymous Blog. Ready or not, here I go....

Saturday, April 29, 2006

A Little Free Association

Rising:: Early
Third:: Base
Disruptive:: Toddler
Surround:: Sound
Distant:: Relative
Suction:: Vaccuum
Fried:: Chicken
Nuggets:: Gold
Clip:: Hair
San Antonio:: Texas

Okay, not very exciting, I know. But you should try it sometime. Really opens up the mind. Uh...not so much. Found this here. Why don't you give it a go?

Motivation vs. Motivated

At what point does something stop being "motivational" and actually "motivate" you to get off your fat ass and do something? When do I let something (a movie, a book, a song, a story) not just into my head, but into my heart? When do I take what I feel about something, and turn it into an action?

I just went to see the movie Stick It. It was one of those movies that makes you want to get up and do something. As Feather said "That girl makes me wanna' work out." I get that feeling from so many things I see and hear. I watch a movie about a girl who does gymnastics and it makes ME want to work out. I read a book about a family overcoming a tragedy and it makes me want to be a better mother to my kids. I watch a makeover show, and it makes me want to work on my appearance. I listen to a story of someone who has a near-death experience, and it makes me want to live my life to the fullest. But when do I actually start doing these things?

There are some people in life who have things happen to them that force them to consider their lives; where they are headed, where they really want to be going, and what needs to change to get them where they want to be. A near-fatal accident, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a divorce, anything life-changing. I've never had anything like this happen (well, there was a near-divorce, but that's another post). I've never had a huge event. Just small vicarious observations of others' lives. How do I use someone else's experiences to motivate myself? How do I internalize what I've learned and apply it to my life? How do I rewrite my story using bits of another's script?

There are so many things I want to do, have always wanted to do. Go to school for accounting, run a 5k, be a naturally happy person, go a whole day without yelling at my kids, learn how to put on makeup, grow my hair long and actually have it look good, dress like a woman instead of teenage tomboy, eat healthy, conquer my sugar addiction, exercise in some way every day, be eager to clean my house (or the house of my parents, whichever applies), love my family unconditionally, make friends with someone who doesn't share my DNA, drink more than 2 glasses of water a week, find a hobby I love and stick with it, be more consistent in my relationship with God, be thankful for what I have, live each day as if it's my last on earth, not take my life so seriously, have fun with my kids. Some small, some big, some realistic, some not. I just wish I could find in myself the switch to kick start all of this. I wish I could find whatever it is that's missing in my life, in my brain, in my heart that would fuel these sparks of desire into fires of reality (geez, the symbolism is this post is INCREDIBLE!). I don't know what it is that gets me going.

I'm going to make a confession here (and no, it's not about my hair). Sometimes I wish something bad would happen to me. Not to my husband or my kids. But to me. That I would get in a car accident, or get some serious illness. Not because I have a death wish. I just wish something would give me that push into greatness that I can't seem to give myself. I'm so tired of resolving every night to be better the next day, and then never changing. I'm tired of waking up every morning the same lazy, grumpy, unmotivated person that I was yesterday. No matter how much I WANT to change, I just can't seem to.

The Hubster hit the nail on the head just now. He walked into the room and asked what I was doing. I said I was writing a post about motivation. And he said "Or lack thereof?" YES! That's exactly it. Lack of motivation. And everyone can see it. And I hate that about myself. I hate that everyone knows the worst parts of me. That they see the laziness. They see the grumpiness. They see the lack of motivation. The lack of self-discipline. How do you reverse 26 years of your own bad impressions? Short of moving away and starting a new life under an assumed identity, I mean. And when you do start to change, how long until they notice? How long do they just assume that you are the same old Beth, and not someone new, someone better?

I don't even feel like trying anymore. I don't feel like improving myself, because everyone close to me still tells me I'm lazy, or that I'm a bitch. I know I should be doing it for myself. But have you ever tried to run a marathon with people on the sidelines asking why you're walking, telling you you're standing still, saying you'll never finish? There is something to be said for outside support. Now, I don't want you to read this and assume that I think I'm perfect. I'm as guilty of all this negativity as much as the next guy (or girl). I assume the worst of The Hubster. I often see the negative in situations with my sisters. I short-change my childrens' abilities. My family is pretty negative and critical by nature. It's how we grew up. But sometimes I feel like the negativity is aimed my way more often than at others. I don't know. Maybe it comes from being the youngest of five. Will I ever feel differently? I don't know. My guess is, I'll still feel this way even when everyone around me is being 100% supportive and positive. I'll always feel like people around me are talking about me behind their hands. I think that's the free toy in the Low Self-Esteem Happy Meal.

Anywho. How do I take all of this, the low self-esteem, the criticism, the absence of turning points, and flip it? Any suggestions? How do you deal with your hard luck and use it to your advantage? What things have you learned in your life that enable you to take that lack of motivation and turn it around?

Comments and suggestions are appreciated. But if you're just going to get on here and call me an ungrateful whiner, don't bother. This is my blog, after all, and I'll write whatever I want. Don't read it if you don't like it.

Pretty picture.

Here is another picture with the new camera. I love the macro setting.

Friday, April 28, 2006

The first picture.

Well, here it is. The first picture with the new camera. Okay, this is actually the third picture, but it was the cutest. Isn't The Boy cute? I've only taken three pictures with it, and I already love it.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

This girl has gone digital.

Well, I did it. I bought my dream Digital SLR. Here she is:

Isn't she beautiful? A Canon EOS Digital Rebel XT. I got the black body so that I wouldn't mess up this one and my 35mm one. It has the silver body. I get the camera on Friday, along with the memory card. The UV filters for all my lenses come next week sometime. It is my 2005 and 2006 Mother's Day/Birthday/Christmas present. I. CAN'T. WAIT. UNTIL. FRIDAY. I am so friggin' excited. You don't even understand. I can't wait until my photog class next Tuesday, so that I can learn new stuff about my new camera. EEEEEEEEHHHHHH!!!!!! Whew...okay, calm down.

So, the next order of business is naming my camera. One as cool as this HAS to have a name. Help me out people. What should it be?

Okay, going to bed now, since it's late, and I seem to be losing my mind. Goodnight.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Some new pictures

Here are some pictures from my latest roll of film. I know you're saying "FILM?!?! Why hasn't this girl gone digital?" And I will, someday. When I can save the money to buy the Digital SLR of my dreams. Anyway, on to the fun!

The Kids with Papa Joe and GG in California. My children make the worst faces in pictures....

Two of The Nieces and The Kids at the waterfront.

Papa and The Boy on "Papa's reh cackoh." That would be Papa's red tractor for those who don't speak Toddler-ese.

Eggs in a nest that a bird built next to our house. Shh, they're a secret. None of the kids know about them.

The Girl dressed all pretty for school.

Thought this was cute.

Monday, April 24, 2006

I'm still here.

Okay, I really am still alive. I haven't died of South American Dizziness Disease. The weather has just been so nice lately, and we've had so much going on, and I've been so busy reading other people's blogs, and commenting on other people's blogs, and sleeping, and eating, and watching movies (oh yeah, I finally joined, and cooking, and laying on the couch, and chillin' with my homies. My life is so full, and busy, and satisfying that I just don't have the time.

Okay, so not true. Well, some of it's true. But not all of it. Things have been steady around here. I guess I just haven't had the motivation to sit down and write. Or the inspiration. All week I'm like "Hmmm, I wonder if I could blog that. Could I make it funny?" But then, I go "No, that's not very funny. Who wants to hear about the time The Boy handed me something in the dark and it ended up being a booger?" So, you see, I'm thinking of all of you when I'm not with you. Funny, I used to think of my life as a scrapbook. Now I think of it as a blog. Interesting.....

Okay, I'm going to go relax in a hot bath, and then go to bed. Good night all. Sorry this is so random.

P.S. I should have something cool to write about on Wednesday. The Hubster and I are going to a Mariners game and sitting in good seats. Too bad Dan Wilson doesn't play anymore. --sigh....Dan Wilson-- So, I'll let you know how it goes.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

The REAL reality TV

So, I have this email sitting in my inbox (that I sent to myself) of things I want to blog about when I have the time, or the inclination. Things like: The Boy vs. The Girl, why The Boy has more clothes than The Girl, my lack of childhood memories, falling off the caffeine wagon, and my horrendous sugar ADDICTION that I have apparently passed on to The Boy. But, today, when both of my children are down for naps, do I choose to blog any of these things? No. I've got something else to talk about.

Have you ever seen "House?" You know the show I'm talking about. The one with the doctor TV Guide says "we love to hate." Personally, I love the guy. And I love to love him. He is a diagnostician, and he is a total jerk. But, the whole point of the show (for those who don't watch, shame on you!) is that people come to the hospital for one reason or another, and if it is an odd case, or if the syptoms don't fit the diagnosis, Dr. Gregory House and his team of underlings work until they figure out what the heck is wrong with these patients. He is pretty rude along the way, to everyone, but he always gets the job done.

So, I think I watch too much of this show.

I woke up this morning, after about eight hours sleep (which is a lot for me, I usually get six to seven hours). The alarm went off at 6 AM, and as I was reaching over The Hubster's side of the bed to change it to 7:00, I felt like I was going to pass out. Not fall back asleep, but literally fall right where I was. My head was swimming, and it felt like my eyes were rolling back in my head. The Girl came in my room at 6:40, and I still felt the same way. I made her leave the room until 7:00. When the alarm went off, I got up to take a shower, and I still felt the same way. Got The Boy up, got them something to eat, and got in the shower. I had to hold on to the wall for most of the shower, because I was afraid I would fall down. I thought maybe I was hungry, so I ate a Special K cereal bar while I was getting ready. Finished getting the kids ready, all the while shushing them because my head was pounding. Drove to church for MOPS, left the kids, ran (okay, I drove) back home to get something, and drove back to church, while eating a PayDay candy bar. At this point, I was still feeling the same, but I knew it wasn't because I was tired. If I'm super-tired, the first place it shows itself is in my driving. I've actually had to pull over and nap on long trips because I'm falling asleep at the wheel. So, we've ruled out tiredness. I got back to church, ate some food, which was protein. I was still feeling the same. So, I've ruled out hunger, because not only have I eaten, but I've made sure that I've had sugar and protein, the two things people always tell you to eat when you're feeling weak and headachy. So, I'm not tired, and I'm not hungry. I'm not stuffed up, my ears aren't plugged up, nothing else is wrong with me. Just a slight headache, swimming brain, dizziness if I bend farther than 45 degrees, and sensitivity to light. The Hubster's answer? Take some medicine and lay down with the kids. What kind of medicine? Who knows, just take something. We stopped and got lunch, and I'm feeling a little better. The headache and the light sensitivity are still around, as I'm sure the dizziness would be if I bent over.

Now that you've heard all my symptoms, I'll tell you why I watch too much "House." I'm not sitting here thinking "Maybe I have the flu, or a cold, or a migraine." Oh no, I'm all, "Maybe I've got a brain tumor. Or a mass on my spinal column that's not letting blood get to my brain. Or maybe I've got some rare South American Dizziness Disease that is only passed by eating the brains of flesh eating piranas from the Amazon River." Oh wait, I've never been to South America. Or eaten pirana brains. Never mind.

I've noticed myself doing this with a lot of TV shows I watch. Not so much with the ghost-y shows I watch (Medium, Ghost Whisperer), but with the crime shows, as well as the medical show. I watch all of the Law & Orders (original, SVU, and Criminal Intent), Criminal Minds, Cold Case, CSI (Vegas only, thank you), and Without a Trace. Okay, I know, I watch a lot of TV. But we have a DVR, so I don't watch TV all night long all the time. But I've noticed myself worrying about my kids. The Girl sleeps right next to the window in the kids' bedroom, and it's a really low window (as in, her bed is even with the bottom of the window). I was laying in bed the other night thinking how easy it would be for someone to reach in the window and grab her without making a sound. I started freaking myself out, and wondering if I should get up and check on her. But, I stopped myself. I know worrying like that shows that I don't trust God, so I stopped and prayed, peace for me, safety for the kids. I just don't know what I would do without these kids, and it freaks me out to even imagine my life without them.

Okay, no more. I must go watch my DVR'd "America's Next Top Model." Go watch Fish-Lips Brooke get kicked off. Yeah, I cheated. Feather told me the ending. All about how Jade gets knocked down a few notches at the judging (I'm over here laughing hysterically, because I HATE Jade.) So, there is my craziness for the day. Enjoy!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

A photo essay of the Singer family, circa 1991 (or, the post in which I humiliate my entire family, including the dead dog)

So, when I went down to California I had to go through some pictures that got wet in the Winter of 2005 Garage Flooding Incident. I reboxed them and brought them home. Well, these pictures are kind of old. Okay, not ancient, but at least 15 to 17 years old. So, I decided to look through them and post some of my family. Here goes:

Here is Dad in all his resplendent early-90's glory. Notice the military issue, thick framed glasses. But no, folks, that's not a pocket protector. It's his glasses case.

Mom with a mullet. Need I say more?

Jenni on the trashed green couch we all loved so dearly.

I told you it wasn't that bad, Heather. **This one got off easy.**

Dani, with a typical Dani picture face.

Not sure why Kim's not wearing pants....

Okay, I LOOK LIKE HOWARD STERN!!!! Why didn't I cut my hair?

Even Dusty was prone to odd faces.

Well, there we all are in 1991. Luckily, we have all grown out of our '90s funk. Here is a picture of all of us at Heather's wedding in 2003. This picture is actually minus six children/grandchildren. One didn't want to be in the picture, three weren't adopted yet, one was still in my tummy, and one hadn't been created yet. But, here ya' go:

So, there we are. Aren't we cute? You know, it's been tough growing up in this family. We fight hard, but we also love hard. Any of us would throw down for any of the others, if we had to. I mean, I would fight 67 wild monkeys in a dark alley with only a pocket knife for a weapon to protect one of my sisters, if I had to. Not 68 wild monkeys, mind you. That might be more than I can handle.

Okay, I'm going to go now. I think that's enough of that. I hope you enjoyed this look into our past lives.

I have a confession to make.

Well, it's not going to be a confession when my sisters read it. 'Cause they've always known it. Always made fun of me for it. The jerks. Okay, here goes (deep breath in, deep breath out)....

I had bad hair as a child. No really, I did. You think I'm kidding? You say you want proof? Okay, you asked for it.

Tell me that is not horrible. And believe me, that ain't the worst one. I asked my mom once why she let me go out of the house like this, and she answered "Because you wouldn't let me brush your hair!" Well, can ya' blame me? Look at that crazy mess. Imagine the yelling that came out of me when she tried to jam a brush through it. What was my mother thinking? Yikes.

All I can say is, I'm glad The Girl doesn't have my hair. I think The Boy may have inherited it, but he's a boy, and we can just shave it off (which we do). The Girl, however, has beautiful hair. Smooth and straight. Those are the two things I wish my hair had been as a child, and really, the two things I still wish my hair were (was, would be?). She's got The Hubster's hair color (very light brown, but she gets blonde streaks in the summer). The Boy has that hair color too. It kinda' sucks, 'cause I wish I had had a dark haired baby. She's got a slight wave to it, but NO CURL and NO FRIZZ! Praise the LORD!!!! Okay, can you tell hair is kind of an important thing to me? When you grow up with hair like mine, it kinda' has to be. Anywho....

I braided The Girl's hair this morning for the aforementioned Class Picture. I think her hairstyle:

is much better than this one of mine was:


Okay, one last picture, just to show you how beautiful My Girl is. She looks so much better with her bangs cut.

Okay, I know it's a cheesy smile. But she's cute, huh? I love this girl!

I'm going to post a picture later, after I get back from taking her to school, of my whole famn damily. It's a whopper. But, that's later. Ta ta for now.

My bragging rights for the day.

That, my friends, is thyme. And I grew it. From seeds. Oh yeah, I'm cool. I rock.

Okay, can you tell I've never grown ANYTHING from seeds before. Shoot, I can't keep houseplants alive. But I'm doin' it now. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah (okay, picture me standing on the computer chair, chanting this, doing the Cabbage Patch...frightening, I know).

Aren't I so cool? Yeah, I thought so.

Okay, so I know it's been forever since I've been on here. Wait, does four days qualify as forever? I don't have time to do a big post right now (I have to get The Girl ready for school and class pictures), but I'm hoping I'll get on here later to post. I have soooooo much to tell you. Okay, not really. But I can make something up. I should go and get said Girl ready for said school and said class pictures.

See ya' later!

Saturday, April 15, 2006

The Kewlest Shirt EVER!

Just thought I'd share with you all my very favorite shirt. Here it is:

I don't know why I love this shirt so much, but I do. I love random t-shirts like this. I think they let me show the weird, random side of my personality that I don't let out very much anymore. And yes, I do own this one. And I can't wait for the weather to get warmer so people can actually see it, and I don't have to wear a jacket over it.

Here is another one that I love:

TB, my sister, just bought this one. So totally reminds me of my childhood. I loved that song, man! I may have to copy her and buy it.

By the way, these two shirts are from Delia's. They have an enormous selection of random t-shirts.

Okay, I just thought I'd share with y'all.

Friday, April 14, 2006

What's in YOUR purse?

So, I stole this idea from Mom to the Screaming Masses. She had a post that listed everything in her purse. So, I thought I'd play the game too. Here's a list of what's in my red/blue/green/orange/yellow/black striped purse from Target...(hold please, while I sort)...

  • iPod Nano in bright pink armband with exercise headphones attatched
  • blue iPod Nano skin
  • earbuds that came with the Nano
  • Belkin TuneCast II (FM receiver for the car)
  • Crystal Light On The Go packet (lemonade)
  • Special K Bar (strawberry flavored)
  • Trident gum (original flavor)
  • zippered pouch with: Cool Citrus Basil lotion, Listerine Pocket Mist, small Kleenex package, nail clippers, Aveeno cold sore treatment, Blistex Silk N Shine, and Rimmel Twist & Shine Sheer Lip Polish in Brilliance
  • 2 pens (Pampered Chef andWindmill Inns)
  • a lock for when I go to the gym
  • today's workout log from the gym
  • 2 Trident wrappers
  • Oral-B Brush-Ups
  • a $20 bill
  • a KCFCU envelope with 18-one dollar bills
  • a $5 Safeway coupon for any Claritin product
  • 5 receipts (Safeway, Fred Meyer, WalMart, Hollywood Video, and Kitsap Credit Union)
  • reminder card for our next counseling appointment
  • Safeway shopping list with everything crossed off but Jumbo Pasta Shells (had to get them at Fred Meyer)
  • change purse with $1.03 in change
  • Yellow notepad with mini-pen
  • wallet with various store club cards, debit/credit cards, membership cards (library, AAA, gym), kids' health cards, driver's license, coffee (i mean hot chocolate) punch card, pictures of family, and social security cards (I KNOW you're not supposed to carry those with you. I just haven't taken them out from the dentist trip five months ago.)

WHEW. Okay, that's it. Well, that's in the purse I'm using now. I've got one up on a shelf that I'm not currently using but it is storing some stuff for me.

So, what's in your purse? Post it on your blog, or if you don't have one (ahem....Yella), post it as a comment.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


So much to say, so little motivation. I know you are all anticipating and waiting patiently for my next post. Too bad for you.

There has been some stuff going on in my life. Not much. But enough to keep me from shriveling into a little dried up bethbean. But I have NO motivation to sit down and write about it. I've got too many shows on my DVR to watch from the week I was gone!!!

Speaking of shows that were on while I was gone. "America's Next Top Model." I CAN'T BELIEVE MOLLIE SUE WAS KICKED OFF!!!! Over JADE!!! That was the stupidest thing I ever saw. I hate Jade. She is arrogant and rude and mean and more annoying than anyone I have ever seen!!! I HATE HER!!!! And I hope the judges see through her manipulative crap soon, and get rid of "THE undiscovered supermodel." Grrrr. Can you tell I was yelling at the TV while I was watching yesterday? Anywho....

I went to yoga today. My first class. Went with My Neighbor. Her ex-sister-in-law was supposed to go with us, but she couldn't find a parking space (read: the parking at Westcoast Fitness SUCKS!) and got in too late to join the class. So, it was just me and My Neighbor. It was pretty cool. Very relaxing. I'm hoping all the stretching will help me with my incredibly horrible, non-existent flexibility. But remind me next time to use two mats. 'Cause laying on my stomach, doing the stretch were you lift only your legs. Yeah, that hurt. As TB knows, the hip bones are a little (okay, a lot) pokey. And those suckers were poking right into that hardwood floor. Ow. So, on Thursday, I'll use two mats. Anyway. It was good.

Alright, that's it. You have dragged enough out of me. I will not write anymore. I told you I didn't have any motivation, and darn it, I DON'T! So, no more. I have to change The Boys diaper and put him to bed. And I have to figure out what the heck he is doing with his "hoot nacks" (that would be fruit snacks, to the english speaking world).


Monday, April 10, 2006

I'm baaaaaaack!!!

Again with the uuuunnnnnhhhhhh..... We are home. We left Cali at exactly 2:00 pm today. We arrived home at 11:45 pm. Not bad. Under 10 hours, with three(?) potty stops, and an hour and a half for dinner.

I am going to bed now. Because I have been home for almost two hours, and I'm still not sleeping.

I will post tomorrow. Hopefully I will have something brilliant and witty and side-splittingly funny to say. Keep your fingers crossed.

Good night.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

typing quickly

not going to bother with proper english composition tonight. the boy is sleeping about ten feet behind me, and i'm trying to type quietly. and without turning on lights to find all those annoying keys like shift. you're lucky i'm using a period.

today was a good day. the kids played outside for most of the morning, while I napped. i love it here. after i decided to get my lazy butt out of bed, i showered and the kids and i headed out. we went to yreka (no, not eureka) to meet the hubster's mom for lunch. before we went there, we stopped at the bank where i used to work to say hi. stopped at walmart to drop off some pictures and so the girl could go potty. met GC for lunch. the girl used the potty two more times while we were there (three if you count the time we went in for a butt spankin'). it was a potty day. after lunch we stopped by wally's, picked up the pictures and a few other things (read: i am a sucker and buy my children way too much stuff). headed back to the valley. stopped by ray's in fort jones, but walked over to the bookkeeping office where i used to work. found out one of the girls who eventually took my place walked out a couple of weeks ago, leaving my old job open. found myself wishing the hubster could find decent work in the valley so we could move back, and i could work there again. walked back over to ray's and picked up something for dinner and a cherry coke (read: drink of the dEVIL). drove to etna, stopped at ray's in etna to get caf-Fiend free coke (to cancel out the cherry coke, you know?). drove home. put the kids down for a nap at 4 pm (what am i, INSANE?). sat and read a little, listened to my pretty pink iPod, and slept for a little bit (i am such a lazy bum!!!). Got up, started dinner, made dinner, ate dinner, cleaned up from dinner. watched the girl, the boy, and gg have a tea party. i'm pretty sure it's their fortieth one since we've been here. hung out for the rest of the night until i put the kids down at 9:30 pm. hoping they'll sleep a little later tomorrow for the late bedtime (YEAH RIGHT!!!). took a bath, read and prayed a little more. came to bed and decided to email the hubster a love note. got sucked into the evil world of the internet. blogs, emails, dictionary word searches. damn you, internet, damn you!

okay, so there is a very long run down of my oh so interesting day. getting off now, before i give into my urge to go back and capitalize everything. going to get into my electric blanket heated bed. loves to all!

p.s. can i just say that i love the little bumps on the j and f keys that let you know your fingers are in the right position. great for midnight in-the-dark typing.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

It has been 26 years since my last confession.....

Okay, I have a confession to make. I love being on vacation here. 'Cause I don't have to watch my kids. I have been in the back room, on the computer, for almost an hour. And my kids have been outside with GG.

I hate being outside (**shudder**), especially when it is so frickin' cold out. This is pretty much the only time The Boy gets to go outside, when we are here. The poor thing. They have gone in the Tonka Truck (four-wheeler truck), they have gathered chicken eggs, they have tried to feed the horses (the stupid things didn't want carrots. what's up with that?). They have gone on walks, and played out on the deck. All while I was inside, nice and warm and cozy.

Don't get me wrong. I still get meals ready, and change clothes and poopy diapers, and put them to bed. But I don't have to play with them!!! It's so nice. Thank God for still-active GGs (great-grandma's, for those that don't know).

Speaking of putting them to bed. It is nap time. I must go deal with the screaming and crying (mostly from The Boy). Say "Nuh-night!"

We have survived! And other random conclusions....

Uuuunnnnnhhhhhh.......we're here. I have come to some conclusions on this trip.

First, the drive from Bremerton, WA to Etna, CA (approximately 535 miles) is a bit like childbirth. It's long, it's painful, it's stressful. It completely drains all of your energy and leaves you recovering for days (okay, maybe one day). You'd like to have some sort of drug to get you through it, to just knock you out for the duration. But you know you're better off going natural so that you are all there for it, so you can concentrate and give 100%. And the end result of the drive/childbirth is so worth all of the effort you have put forth, and all of the pain you have endured. To see the smiling faces of the kids, and the smiles and tears from GG and Papa makes that 10+ hour drive all worth it. It makes listening to children's movies for nine hours worth it. It makes sharing a hotel bed with a magnetic four-year old worth it. (Okay, just to clarify that statement: When you share a bed with The Girl it's like you have a piece of metal strapped to your back and she is a magnet. Everytime you wake up, she is on your back like white on rice, no matter how many times you move her away.) It's all worth it. And the way the drive is MOST like childbirth? You forget how painful it is shortly after it's over, so that you continue to do it time after time.

The second conclusion I have come to is in regards to caffeine (or, as I like to call it, caf-fiend). I'm sure some of you know that Caf-feind is my arch nemesis. We do NOT get along. Actually, since I have semi-given it up, we are faring much better. I can have it occasionally without any bad side effects (i.e. peeing every 10 minutes, staying up until 5 o'clock in the morning). I have actually had A LOT of caffeine this last four days, what with scrapbooking and the drive down, so now I'm working on getting off of it. But caffeine's role in my drive down here is what I would like to focus on today. It is amazing to me what a super-drug caffeine can be. I was so tired driving down that I actually had to stop just outside of Olympia for a short nap. I was afraid I would fall asleep while driving, and I didn't want to take any chances. After I woke up, we got started again. A while later, I stopped somewhere (I don't remember where) and got a Cherry Coke. And I'm not kidding you, after two drinks of that soda, I was wide awake. Before I stopped, my eyes were all heavy, and I was starting to worry about falling asleep again (my body goes into sleep mode when it even THINKS about long-distance driving). It was awesome. And I did it again on Monday morning. I had gotten a fairly decent nights sleep, but as soon as I got into the car, I was tired again. So I stopped in Grants Pass and got a Pepsi. And immediately I was awake. Shoot, I didn't even have to drink it. I just looked at it and I could feel the magic elixer coursing through my veins. Okay, not quite, but you know what I mean. So, I have concluded that caffeine, whether injected, ingested, snorted, smoked, swallowed, or just drunk out of a 20 oz bottle is my new "energy drink." I don't have to spend $3.00 on a bottle of RockStar or Full Throttle to get my boost. I'll just go buy a 50 cent can of Cherry Coke and be done with it (only 50 cents outside of WalMart, of course).

My third conclusion. When I watch children's movies now, I laugh at how much I identify with the parents in the movies. I'm talking Disney cartoons here people, not after-school specials. The kids were watching Bambi II on the way down (cute movie by the way, lots of funny parts). There is a part where Bambi yells "I wish Mother were here instead of you!" to his father. And I'm not sitting there thinking "Poor Bambi. His dad isn't being very nice to him. And he misses his mom. Aaawwwhhh." I'm sitting there wondering how bad that made Bambi's dad feel. Thinking about how much that must have hurt him. This is a cartoon deer we are talking about, people!! I'm sympathizing with a cartoon. I think I'm losing it. But I find myself doing that more often. I feel bad for parents in movies and shows when their kids act out, or say mean things to them. I give advice to fictional parents when I see their stories (it's usually "You need to smack that kid" but who cares, right?). I can't quite figure out when the shift happened. I don't think it was the minute I got pregnant, or even after The Girl was born. But sometime in the last several years, I think I have truly become a parent. I guess I can stop feeling like I'm pretending now. Like I'm just babysitting these kids for someone else. I can feel like a real adult now, not like I'm still in high school. But, that is a post for another day.

Right now I should go hang out with The Boy. The Girl went with GG to get a haircut (yes, TB, she is getting her bangs cut), and The Boy is not feeling well. So, I leave you all to your lives. Enjoy them!

Saturday, April 01, 2006


Just posting a quick hello and update.

Got back from scrapbooking tonight. Only got six pages done the whole weekend. Boo. Had a good time though.

Leaving for California sometime tomorrow morning. Have to get up early and pack all the bags (mine, The Girl's, and The Boy's). Looking forward to a 12-hour drive. Okay, not really. Possibility of staying overnight in a hotel, depending on time of departure and weather conditions. Hopefully I"ll be able to post a couple times from down there to let you all know how it's going.

Feeling guilty about recent spending habits. Did good before about paying off bills, but now that they're gone, we've gone a bit nutso. Gotta' rein that in. We'll work on it after the kids and I get back. Pat us on the back, though. We did turn down going to see a big country show this summer. The tickets were 80 bucks a pop, so we said "Uh uh." Yay us!!

Okay, I'm going to go take a bath and go to bed. I slept on the hotel floor last night (I know, nasty, right?), so I'm looking forward to my nice soft bed tonight. Maybe I won't get up at 6:00.....

Okay, signing off. See you on the flip side.