Thursday, April 20, 2006

The REAL reality TV

So, I have this email sitting in my inbox (that I sent to myself) of things I want to blog about when I have the time, or the inclination. Things like: The Boy vs. The Girl, why The Boy has more clothes than The Girl, my lack of childhood memories, falling off the caffeine wagon, and my horrendous sugar ADDICTION that I have apparently passed on to The Boy. But, today, when both of my children are down for naps, do I choose to blog any of these things? No. I've got something else to talk about.

Have you ever seen "House?" You know the show I'm talking about. The one with the doctor TV Guide says "we love to hate." Personally, I love the guy. And I love to love him. He is a diagnostician, and he is a total jerk. But, the whole point of the show (for those who don't watch, shame on you!) is that people come to the hospital for one reason or another, and if it is an odd case, or if the syptoms don't fit the diagnosis, Dr. Gregory House and his team of underlings work until they figure out what the heck is wrong with these patients. He is pretty rude along the way, to everyone, but he always gets the job done.

So, I think I watch too much of this show.

I woke up this morning, after about eight hours sleep (which is a lot for me, I usually get six to seven hours). The alarm went off at 6 AM, and as I was reaching over The Hubster's side of the bed to change it to 7:00, I felt like I was going to pass out. Not fall back asleep, but literally fall right where I was. My head was swimming, and it felt like my eyes were rolling back in my head. The Girl came in my room at 6:40, and I still felt the same way. I made her leave the room until 7:00. When the alarm went off, I got up to take a shower, and I still felt the same way. Got The Boy up, got them something to eat, and got in the shower. I had to hold on to the wall for most of the shower, because I was afraid I would fall down. I thought maybe I was hungry, so I ate a Special K cereal bar while I was getting ready. Finished getting the kids ready, all the while shushing them because my head was pounding. Drove to church for MOPS, left the kids, ran (okay, I drove) back home to get something, and drove back to church, while eating a PayDay candy bar. At this point, I was still feeling the same, but I knew it wasn't because I was tired. If I'm super-tired, the first place it shows itself is in my driving. I've actually had to pull over and nap on long trips because I'm falling asleep at the wheel. So, we've ruled out tiredness. I got back to church, ate some food, which was protein. I was still feeling the same. So, I've ruled out hunger, because not only have I eaten, but I've made sure that I've had sugar and protein, the two things people always tell you to eat when you're feeling weak and headachy. So, I'm not tired, and I'm not hungry. I'm not stuffed up, my ears aren't plugged up, nothing else is wrong with me. Just a slight headache, swimming brain, dizziness if I bend farther than 45 degrees, and sensitivity to light. The Hubster's answer? Take some medicine and lay down with the kids. What kind of medicine? Who knows, just take something. We stopped and got lunch, and I'm feeling a little better. The headache and the light sensitivity are still around, as I'm sure the dizziness would be if I bent over.

Now that you've heard all my symptoms, I'll tell you why I watch too much "House." I'm not sitting here thinking "Maybe I have the flu, or a cold, or a migraine." Oh no, I'm all, "Maybe I've got a brain tumor. Or a mass on my spinal column that's not letting blood get to my brain. Or maybe I've got some rare South American Dizziness Disease that is only passed by eating the brains of flesh eating piranas from the Amazon River." Oh wait, I've never been to South America. Or eaten pirana brains. Never mind.

I've noticed myself doing this with a lot of TV shows I watch. Not so much with the ghost-y shows I watch (Medium, Ghost Whisperer), but with the crime shows, as well as the medical show. I watch all of the Law & Orders (original, SVU, and Criminal Intent), Criminal Minds, Cold Case, CSI (Vegas only, thank you), and Without a Trace. Okay, I know, I watch a lot of TV. But we have a DVR, so I don't watch TV all night long all the time. But I've noticed myself worrying about my kids. The Girl sleeps right next to the window in the kids' bedroom, and it's a really low window (as in, her bed is even with the bottom of the window). I was laying in bed the other night thinking how easy it would be for someone to reach in the window and grab her without making a sound. I started freaking myself out, and wondering if I should get up and check on her. But, I stopped myself. I know worrying like that shows that I don't trust God, so I stopped and prayed, peace for me, safety for the kids. I just don't know what I would do without these kids, and it freaks me out to even imagine my life without them.

Okay, no more. I must go watch my DVR'd "America's Next Top Model." Go watch Fish-Lips Brooke get kicked off. Yeah, I cheated. Feather told me the ending. All about how Jade gets knocked down a few notches at the judging (I'm over here laughing hysterically, because I HATE Jade.) So, there is my craziness for the day. Enjoy!


sunshine scribe said...

Great post. You sound EXACTLY like a good friend of mine. She is obsessed with that show and self-diagnosed herself with MS the other day (which of course was just a cold).

MrsWndr said...

Flesh eating Pirhana's, huh? Good one! House is one of my favorites. Alongs with ANTM! Hunny loves them too. Keep up the great posts, I'd really love to hear of the one about the boy vs. the Girl. Miss you!

momofallboys said...

Beth you are soo funny. I think your posts get better everytime. You need to actually talk to me like this on the phone. I need a good laugh everyday. OH I just thought of something you should print some of your favorite posts adn do a page about your blog writing. Hmm thats the scrapper in me always thinking of new pages.

Mrs. Chicky said...

OMG! I am the same way. Headache? Nah... brain aneurysm. Speck of dirt on my arm? Oh no... flesh eating bacteria. But I can't stop watching House. That man is crazy sexy.

Celestino. said...

I watched House once, but I found it to be uninspiring.

MrsWndr said...

don't tell me you're taking a hiatus again from the blogs...we're all waiting to see what's next!

Joel said...

My wife and I are also addicted to "House" along with a few others on your list...the DVR is the greatest invention post none! We too find ourselves over analyzing each new malady or suspicious circumstance. It's at these times we quickly find a recorded episode of South Park, Daily Show, or Colbert to cleanse our minds and bring us back to, uh, reality?

sweatpantsmom said...

My husband forbids me to look at those 'symptoms' books whenever I'm sick.

So far I've been convinced I've had SARS, brain cancer, TB and bubonic plague.