Patience

Dear God:

Hi. Yeah, it's me again. I've got something to ask you. I know everyone always says not to pray for patience. Because, then, you know, I'll get tested to build up my patience. But at this point, I'm desperate. I'm already being majorly tested, so I'll ask for it anyway.

Please give me patience with The Girl. She is turning into someone I don't know, and I'm trying to hold on to who she was. My sweet, obedient, good little girl. She's not so obedient now. She's still sweet, and good...at heart. But she's got this attitude. And this whiny voice. And this tendency to pick up the bad habits of her friends. Like Neighbor Boy. Sometimes I don't want her to play with him anymore, because she seems to come home with all the behaviors of his that I loathe. And I don't want to loathe my daughter. Give me patience to teach her what is right, to correct her behavior, and to not kill her in the process.

Please give me patience with The Boy. Because he is, well, a boy. He's loud, he's rambuncious, he doesn't listen, and sometimes, well...he's a bit slow. Help me to remember that he is not The Girl. He's never caught on as quickly as she did, and he probably never will. Help me to be patient when instructing him, instead of getting frustrated and doing it myself. Help me to deal with his screaming without screaming myself. I have no clue what to do with him, Lord, but I know you do. It's not that he is a horrible child. I know he is sweet, and loving. He loves to hug and kiss and cuddle. But it's when he gets himself all wound up that he gets out of control. Help me to keep him alive as well.

Please give me patience with Neighbor Boy. Help me to remember that he is not parented like I parent my children. Help me to remember that at his house, the things he does are okay. Give me the patience to remind him that those things are not okay here. Without killing him.

Please give me patience with The Hubster. He has been so amazing since he has been off work. So helpful and willing to stay with the kids. But his anal-ness is about to drive me crazy. I'm sick of being "reminded" to do things, or questioned about why I haven't done them. Help me to remember that you gave him this part of his personality. And remind me occasionally that if we were in our own place, I'd be acting the same way he is.

Oh yeah. About that being in our own place thing. WHEN'S THAT GONNA' HAPPEN?!?! Guess that's another thing I need patience for. It's been two years that we've been here with my parents. And I'm not quite as close to insanity as I was a while ago. Thanks for that. But help me to be patient, and to know that we will be in our own place when it's your time for us to be in it.

Please give me patience while waiting for this stupid job to go through. I know it is an amazing opportunity, a way for us to have the money we need to pay off bills and have our own place. But I am getting SOOOOOOO tired of waiting. It's been two months already, and the lawyers are "still talking." What's up with that? Are they only talking over lunch or something? I'm at the point now where I just want to give up and move to California. Forget the waiting. Forget the wondering if it's even gonna' happen. At what point do things actually go our way? Grrr....

Okay, I'll stop now. I know you have a plan for us. I know that in my mind. But I don't feel it in my heart. Help me to trust you. Thanks.

Beth