So, I just watched the movie Akeelah and the Bee. It was a very good movie, and I would recommend it to anyone. It is even okay for kids, although younger ones might not be too interested in it. And if any of you are wondering who Akeelah's older brother is played by (as in, you can't figure out where you've seen him before), he is the guy from The Famous Jett Jackson that used to play on Disney Channel. Anyhoo. This movie is one of those that makes you want to run out and buy a dictionary. Okay, not really. But it is one that feels inspirational, that makes you want to push yourself a little bit harder at what you do. It also made me want more for my kids. It made me hope for more for them. It made me dream of what they might accomplish if I give them the support and love that they need. There was also a very good quote in the movie. I think they used part of this quote in the previews, but I'm going to post the entire thing here. I think I'm also going to print it out as a reminder for me. So, enjoy. And maybe be inspired.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Marianne Williamson
Thursday, September 14, 2006
One Bottle of Water (or, The Post in Which I Call Myself a Schlub Five Times)
Yep. One bottle is all the water I drank today. I’m such a schlub. I have been so negligent lately about eating healthy and exercising. For a while I was doing really great about working out every other day. I was going to yoga twice a week, on my off days. I was drinking more water than soda. I was eating healthy foods and cutting back on my addiction (High Fructose Corn Syrup). Somewhere, that all stopped. Actually, I can tell you when it stopped.
It stopped when we went to Etna to pick up The Girl from her visit to GG and Papa’s. We were down there for three weeks. I did pretty good at first. I went to the gym every other day. I took a really long walk (almost five miles). Pretty much all I drank was water. I was eating really healthy. I only made it to yoga the last Monday we were there because of the holiday and a family dinner. I’m not so sure it stopped there, or if it stopped when we got back. The working out stopped when we got back. I don’t know why. The Hubster was unemployed, so I didn’t have to take the kids with me, so I don’t know what my excuse was. I was still going to yoga twice a week. Then, mid-August I cancelled my gym membership. And even though the membership doesn’t actually expire until the end of September, I stopped going to yoga. Like I said, I’m a schlub.
Something I’ve learned about myself over the last few years: I’m one of those people who have to start with working out, and the healthy eating follows almost without conscious effort. Therefore, when the working out stops, the healthy eating stops as well. So, since I’ve given up pretty much all physical activity, I’ve given up pretty much all healthy food. And really, it’s not that I’m eating tons of unhealthy food. Really, I’m just not eating much at all. I usually skip breakfast, which I’ve heard is a big no-no. Some days I have lunch and some days I don’t, depending on how much energy I need to put into the kids (meaning: more energy, no lunch; less energy, yes lunch). I usually eat dinner, because most nights I cook it. But I have been eating smaller portion sizes lately, since I was shocking myself with the amount of food I was consuming at the evening meal. My water-drinking has become almost non-existent. I’m back to eating lots of candy and chips, especially late at night (which again, I’ve heard is a big no-no). Again, I’m a schlub.
Something else I’ve learned about myself over the years. I am not very self-motivated when it comes to working out. I can’t pop in an exercise video at home and have a great workout. I don’t like to use the treadmill in the dining room, or run on the road, alone. The thing is, even though I didn’t talk to anyone at the gym, I was so much more enthused about working out when I was there. I could run on the treadmill for an hour. I could do a weight machine circuit in no time. I would just put my headphones on, sweat like a fool, and watch people. But the thing is, my life isn’t very conducive to gym memberships. I’ve got two small kids and a husband at home. I have other things I could be doing with that time. But I enjoyed that time so much! I enjoyed feeling healthy. I enjoyed being able to touch my toes for the first time in my life after four months of yoga. And let me tell you, after a month of no yoga, my body is protesting. That is definitely something I need to keep up with.
Anyway. I’m not sure what the point of this post is. I guess just to tell you what a schlub I am. How I don’t take care of my body. And I’m not even getting into showering and hair products and make-up and how many times a day I brush my teeth. Hygiene is a whole other post. But only because I’m a schlub.
It stopped when we went to Etna to pick up The Girl from her visit to GG and Papa’s. We were down there for three weeks. I did pretty good at first. I went to the gym every other day. I took a really long walk (almost five miles). Pretty much all I drank was water. I was eating really healthy. I only made it to yoga the last Monday we were there because of the holiday and a family dinner. I’m not so sure it stopped there, or if it stopped when we got back. The working out stopped when we got back. I don’t know why. The Hubster was unemployed, so I didn’t have to take the kids with me, so I don’t know what my excuse was. I was still going to yoga twice a week. Then, mid-August I cancelled my gym membership. And even though the membership doesn’t actually expire until the end of September, I stopped going to yoga. Like I said, I’m a schlub.
Something I’ve learned about myself over the last few years: I’m one of those people who have to start with working out, and the healthy eating follows almost without conscious effort. Therefore, when the working out stops, the healthy eating stops as well. So, since I’ve given up pretty much all physical activity, I’ve given up pretty much all healthy food. And really, it’s not that I’m eating tons of unhealthy food. Really, I’m just not eating much at all. I usually skip breakfast, which I’ve heard is a big no-no. Some days I have lunch and some days I don’t, depending on how much energy I need to put into the kids (meaning: more energy, no lunch; less energy, yes lunch). I usually eat dinner, because most nights I cook it. But I have been eating smaller portion sizes lately, since I was shocking myself with the amount of food I was consuming at the evening meal. My water-drinking has become almost non-existent. I’m back to eating lots of candy and chips, especially late at night (which again, I’ve heard is a big no-no). Again, I’m a schlub.
Something else I’ve learned about myself over the years. I am not very self-motivated when it comes to working out. I can’t pop in an exercise video at home and have a great workout. I don’t like to use the treadmill in the dining room, or run on the road, alone. The thing is, even though I didn’t talk to anyone at the gym, I was so much more enthused about working out when I was there. I could run on the treadmill for an hour. I could do a weight machine circuit in no time. I would just put my headphones on, sweat like a fool, and watch people. But the thing is, my life isn’t very conducive to gym memberships. I’ve got two small kids and a husband at home. I have other things I could be doing with that time. But I enjoyed that time so much! I enjoyed feeling healthy. I enjoyed being able to touch my toes for the first time in my life after four months of yoga. And let me tell you, after a month of no yoga, my body is protesting. That is definitely something I need to keep up with.
Anyway. I’m not sure what the point of this post is. I guess just to tell you what a schlub I am. How I don’t take care of my body. And I’m not even getting into showering and hair products and make-up and how many times a day I brush my teeth. Hygiene is a whole other post. But only because I’m a schlub.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
My Kids Are Short
As our kids get older, we all say things like “You’re growing up so fast,” or “You’re getting so big.” I myself have said these very things to both my kids in the last few months. Sometimes they seem like clichés, over used phrases meant to praise our kids. But really, physically, emotionally, and mentally, they are so true. The Girl has a pair of pants that used to fit her, but are suddenly capris. The Boy can sing most of “Jesus Loves Me,” as long as you can keep him calm, and he doesn’t turn into his rabid, weird self. My baby boy is no longer a baby, but a crazy, loud, energetic toddler. My chubby cheeked, big-eyed girl is no longer a toddler, but a slim, to-smart-for-her-own-good preschooler. The days go so fast, even when they seem so slow. But anyway, all this melancholy wasn’t the point of this post. I’ve gotten all swept away in the nostalgia and sadness that is motherhood. Here’s the point:
I realized something tonight, as The Girl came out of her dark room, “needing to pee” (even though she had gone right before bed, a half hour before). My children are really very short. I know this seems to be one of those “Well, duh!” statements, but it’s really meant in a profound way. I was irritated with her, because I don’t think she really peed at all, or that she really needed to go in the first place. I ordered her back to bed, and as I was walking behind her out of the bathroom, I realized how short she is. (Speaking of peeing, it’s now 1:00 am, and The Girl just stumbled in here bleary-eyed and half awake, needing to go. But she really had to go this time.) And in that instant, in realizing that she was short physically, I also realized that she is “short” emotionally, and behaviorally. I don’t mean to say that she is behind or that she has problems. Just that she is four years old, and The Boy is two, and sometimes I forget that.
The Girl, in my opinion, has always been a bit ahead of the curve. She hit all the milestones just slightly ahead of schedule. She walked at 11 months, she started talking around 15. She has always been so intelligent that I guess I’ve begun to think of her as being older than she is. Even in all the times I’ve reminded The Hubster “She’s only four!” I guess I too have been guilty of forgetting her physical age. As I walked behind her to her room, to lay her back down in bed, my anger dissipated. How could I be mad at someone so small for something so…small?
Sometimes I’m disappointed in myself, for how upset I get at the kids for such insignificant things. The Girl will ask me for chocolate milk when I’m in the middle of making dinner. I get so irritated with her, even though she hasn’t done anything wrong. She isn’t throwing a fit, or demanding that I get it for her NOW. She has simply made a request for something that she can’t get for herself. Most of the time, when I change The Boy’s diaper, before he can lay down, he has to hug me. Why should this frustrate me? My wonderful, loving son is only trying to show affection to me. And I’m annoyed because he’s taking up my time. Time that I could be doing what? Surfing the internet, watching TV, reading my book? How could any of these things be more important than getting a hug from my baby? Why am I letting myself miss these opportunities? Opportunities to make memories with my kids, build up their self-esteem, or show them that I care? I always said, growing up, that I wanted to be a mother. Why am I not taking this chance that God has given me to BE a mother? To BE involved, to BE loving, to BE there for my kids. How have I let everything else become more important to me than my own flesh and blood?
Whew. Okay. Guess it’s back to the melancholy, isn’t it? The whole point of this thing was that my kids are short, and I need to start treating them like they are. But then the Guilt Monster came in and took over. Well, I should go to bed now. Its 1:30 and I’m afraid the battery on my new laptop is going to give out soon. Oh yeah, did I mention I’m sitting in bed, typing this on my new computer I bought from my bestest friend? Sweet. Good thing The Hubster is hunting for the week, or I would still be exiled to the freezing dining room.
***EDITED TO ADD: This morning, at 6:30, when both of my children are already awake (one having been up for at least an hour already), and after getting five hours sleep, doesn’t seem like such a good time to test my “be nice to short people” theory. But I will try.***
I realized something tonight, as The Girl came out of her dark room, “needing to pee” (even though she had gone right before bed, a half hour before). My children are really very short. I know this seems to be one of those “Well, duh!” statements, but it’s really meant in a profound way. I was irritated with her, because I don’t think she really peed at all, or that she really needed to go in the first place. I ordered her back to bed, and as I was walking behind her out of the bathroom, I realized how short she is. (Speaking of peeing, it’s now 1:00 am, and The Girl just stumbled in here bleary-eyed and half awake, needing to go. But she really had to go this time.) And in that instant, in realizing that she was short physically, I also realized that she is “short” emotionally, and behaviorally. I don’t mean to say that she is behind or that she has problems. Just that she is four years old, and The Boy is two, and sometimes I forget that.
The Girl, in my opinion, has always been a bit ahead of the curve. She hit all the milestones just slightly ahead of schedule. She walked at 11 months, she started talking around 15. She has always been so intelligent that I guess I’ve begun to think of her as being older than she is. Even in all the times I’ve reminded The Hubster “She’s only four!” I guess I too have been guilty of forgetting her physical age. As I walked behind her to her room, to lay her back down in bed, my anger dissipated. How could I be mad at someone so small for something so…small?
Sometimes I’m disappointed in myself, for how upset I get at the kids for such insignificant things. The Girl will ask me for chocolate milk when I’m in the middle of making dinner. I get so irritated with her, even though she hasn’t done anything wrong. She isn’t throwing a fit, or demanding that I get it for her NOW. She has simply made a request for something that she can’t get for herself. Most of the time, when I change The Boy’s diaper, before he can lay down, he has to hug me. Why should this frustrate me? My wonderful, loving son is only trying to show affection to me. And I’m annoyed because he’s taking up my time. Time that I could be doing what? Surfing the internet, watching TV, reading my book? How could any of these things be more important than getting a hug from my baby? Why am I letting myself miss these opportunities? Opportunities to make memories with my kids, build up their self-esteem, or show them that I care? I always said, growing up, that I wanted to be a mother. Why am I not taking this chance that God has given me to BE a mother? To BE involved, to BE loving, to BE there for my kids. How have I let everything else become more important to me than my own flesh and blood?
Whew. Okay. Guess it’s back to the melancholy, isn’t it? The whole point of this thing was that my kids are short, and I need to start treating them like they are. But then the Guilt Monster came in and took over. Well, I should go to bed now. Its 1:30 and I’m afraid the battery on my new laptop is going to give out soon. Oh yeah, did I mention I’m sitting in bed, typing this on my new computer I bought from my bestest friend? Sweet. Good thing The Hubster is hunting for the week, or I would still be exiled to the freezing dining room.
***EDITED TO ADD: This morning, at 6:30, when both of my children are already awake (one having been up for at least an hour already), and after getting five hours sleep, doesn’t seem like such a good time to test my “be nice to short people” theory. But I will try.***
Sunday, August 27, 2006
I'm goin' ta Portland...
I will be gone for a few days. Well, okay, about 28 hours. But darn it, it's over night. Jalopy and I are heading down to Portland for a little fun. We're gonna' shop, we're gonna' eat out, we're going to traverse the city and look for odd places to take pictures. It'll be a blast. Very reminiscint of our highschool and post-highschool years (think movie theaters and Ocean Shores). Wish me fun!!!
Monday, August 21, 2006
Words of wisdom from "What Not To Wear"
This was a quote from a lady named Maura who was on "What Not To Wear: Baby on Board."
"I don't like the new trend of the harried, invisible mom, where you have to be Super Woman and disappear behind your children. I think the mother should be a fully developed person of her own. That gives the child something to look up to, and something to aspire to be."
"I don't like the new trend of the harried, invisible mom, where you have to be Super Woman and disappear behind your children. I think the mother should be a fully developed person of her own. That gives the child something to look up to, and something to aspire to be."
Friday, August 18, 2006
A tiny little MEME.
Tagged by WndrKim
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. What does it say? Webster's II New College Dictionary: (ACRO)BATICS.] Performance of stunts, as rolls and loops, with an air-craft.
2. Stretch your arms out as far as you can. What are you touching on with your right hand? Thin air. Left hand? Filing cabinet.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Cal Ripken World Series
4. Without looking, guess what time it is. 11:53 a.m.
5. Now look at the clock. 12:07 p.m. Yeah, a little off.
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? High Five on TLC On Demand.
7. When did you last step outside? Last night to walk over to Campbells' house to get a movie.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? My blog. What can I say? I love myself.
9. What are you wearing? A gray hooded sweatshirt, and old pair of The Hubster's boxer briefs, and blue sport shorts.
10. Did you dream last night? Probably. I don't remember, but it was probably pretty weird.
11. When did you last laugh? Last night watching Madea's Family Reunion. I probably laughed at one of my kids this morning, but I can't remember.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? A calendar, and a bunch of Busy Bee's decorations.
13. Seen anything weird lately? My daughter in a dark bathroom with my red bandana on her head, and with her hands in my brush drawer. All of this while she was supposed to be sleeping.
14. What is the last film you saw? On video: Madea's Family Reunion. In theaters: I think it was The Devil Wears Prada.
15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? Pay off debt, save for retirement and college, buy our very own house.
16. Tell me something about you that I don't know. My dream is to someday feed my family all natural foods. Nothing processed.
17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Find a way to convince everyone to choose Christ, I'm with the others on this one.
18. Do you like to dance? Only when no one is watching.
19. George W Bush: He has my utmost respect and prayers. I am so thankful for a president who is not afraid to be "un-popular" when it comes to doing what he believes is right. Praise the Lord for allowing him to be president during these scary times. Again, I'm with the others!
20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? We called her Sierra Beth. Yeah, she has has my name as her middle. I told you I love myself!
21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? And we called him Tyner Joseph.
22. Would you ever consider living abroad? Heck yeah. I'm up for anything.
23. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gate? Amen Heather "Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Enter into your rest."
I'm not going to tag anyone on this one. I don't have enough readers to go there...
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. What does it say? Webster's II New College Dictionary: (ACRO)BATICS.] Performance of stunts, as rolls and loops, with an air-craft.
2. Stretch your arms out as far as you can. What are you touching on with your right hand? Thin air. Left hand? Filing cabinet.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Cal Ripken World Series
4. Without looking, guess what time it is. 11:53 a.m.
5. Now look at the clock. 12:07 p.m. Yeah, a little off.
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? High Five on TLC On Demand.
7. When did you last step outside? Last night to walk over to Campbells' house to get a movie.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? My blog. What can I say? I love myself.
9. What are you wearing? A gray hooded sweatshirt, and old pair of The Hubster's boxer briefs, and blue sport shorts.
10. Did you dream last night? Probably. I don't remember, but it was probably pretty weird.
11. When did you last laugh? Last night watching Madea's Family Reunion. I probably laughed at one of my kids this morning, but I can't remember.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? A calendar, and a bunch of Busy Bee's decorations.
13. Seen anything weird lately? My daughter in a dark bathroom with my red bandana on her head, and with her hands in my brush drawer. All of this while she was supposed to be sleeping.
14. What is the last film you saw? On video: Madea's Family Reunion. In theaters: I think it was The Devil Wears Prada.
15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? Pay off debt, save for retirement and college, buy our very own house.
16. Tell me something about you that I don't know. My dream is to someday feed my family all natural foods. Nothing processed.
17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Find a way to convince everyone to choose Christ, I'm with the others on this one.
18. Do you like to dance? Only when no one is watching.
19. George W Bush: He has my utmost respect and prayers. I am so thankful for a president who is not afraid to be "un-popular" when it comes to doing what he believes is right. Praise the Lord for allowing him to be president during these scary times. Again, I'm with the others!
20. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? We called her Sierra Beth. Yeah, she has has my name as her middle. I told you I love myself!
21. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? And we called him Tyner Joseph.
22. Would you ever consider living abroad? Heck yeah. I'm up for anything.
23. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gate? Amen Heather "Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Enter into your rest."
I'm not going to tag anyone on this one. I don't have enough readers to go there...
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Guilt and shame...EDITED
I keep telling myself I need to get on here and write something. I feel so bad every day that goes by. I sit down at my computer, and I start clicking with my mouse. But do I click on the link that takes me to "create new post"? No. I click on "Kim's Blog," "Erin's Journal," "Found in France," "Mamarazzi," "Mom-101," "Daring Young Mom," and on and on and on and on and on. That's a lot of reading, people. And by the time I finish doing that, reading
But, there is another reason I don't write. Well, a couple of reasons.
The first one? I don't feel like I'm a good enough writer. I know my sisters are really the only ones that read this, and they think I'm friggin' hilarious. But when I read all those blogs I read, and I see what good writers some of these women are, I don't feel like I measure up.
The second reason? I want this to be a fun blog. A humorous blog. And right now, there isn't much humor in my life. Or if there is, I'm not seeing it, and I'm REALLY not feeling it. Most of my readers (that would be you, Singer girls) know my circumstances. For those that may or may not be lurking, The Hubster and I are in a bit of a limbo right now, what with jobs and states of residence in question. This has been going on for two and a half months. And let me tell you, two and a half months in Limbo can really shrivel up your funny bone. I was so happy five months ago. My old, high school-type sense of humor was finally coming back. My goofy, sarcastic, strange mind was being reborn. I was finally feeling good about myself and my situation, and it was showing in the way I was relating to people (in the real world and in the blogosphere). But I've lost that in the last few months. So not only is my situation stressing me out, but the loss of my ability to see the hilarity in situations is making me sad.
Anywho... So, there it is. My list of excuses. TB, I'm sorry I can't do more for you. I promise that once The Hubster makes his decisions and I know where our lives are headed, I'll be back. Even if we end up down in NoCal, I'll be on my dial-up internet, pounding away on the keyboard until late in the night. Just to make up for all the wasted time.
Then again, maybe I'll just super-caffeinate myself everyday with Cherry Coke and a couple of Midol. It seemed to work yesterday.....
Edited to add: I'm not saying I don't want to talk about my life on my blog. It is, after all, MY blog. I'm just saying I don't want to depress everyone with my angst-ridden musings about how horrible my world is. Because my world isn't really horrible. It's just...well...out of whack right now. Thanks, sisters, for your encouraging words. I will keep writing, and trying to find the humor in my life.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Some pics from The Hubster
Here are some pictures The Hubster recently took. Aren't the kiddos cute?
The Girl's newest art piece.
So, The Girl isn't the most creative artist. She doesn't usually draw very detailed pictures. So, when she drew this today, I had to put it on here. She put a lot of thought into this. It is for our neighbor, who is big into gardening.
It is someone's castle with their garden out front. There is a carrot, a couple of oranges, and some cabbage. The red spotted thing is "just a statue."
Idn't she cute?
Thursday, August 03, 2006
WERD of the Day
sole 1. The undersurface of the foot. 2. The undersurface of a shoe or boot. 3. The part on which an object rests while standing esp. a) the bottom surface of a plow. b) the bottom surface of the head of a golf club.
Use it in a sentence: I like squishing spiders with the sole of my shoe!
Use it in a sentence: I like squishing spiders with the sole of my shoe!
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