Guilt and shame...EDITED

I keep telling myself I need to get on here and write something. I feel so bad every day that goes by. I sit down at my computer, and I start clicking with my mouse. But do I click on the link that takes me to "create new post"? No. I click on "Kim's Blog," "Erin's Journal," "Found in France," "Mamarazzi," "Mom-101," "Daring Young Mom," and on and on and on and on and on. That's a lot of reading, people. And by the time I finish doing that, reading fanmail email, checking the bank account, the Blockbuster account, MySpace, and all that other lame-o stuff I do, well, I'm just tired. Or The Kids have tuned in to my distraction and are trying to get my attention by acting like monkeys in a banana factory. Or The Hubster is bored and is standing over my shoulder, watching my every click and reading every line of my IM convos with The Sisters. It's all very distracting.

But, there is another reason I don't write. Well, a couple of reasons.

The first one? I don't feel like I'm a good enough writer. I know my sisters are really the only ones that read this, and they think I'm friggin' hilarious. But when I read all those blogs I read, and I see what good writers some of these women are, I don't feel like I measure up.

The second reason? I want this to be a fun blog. A humorous blog. And right now, there isn't much humor in my life. Or if there is, I'm not seeing it, and I'm REALLY not feeling it. Most of my readers (that would be you, Singer girls) know my circumstances. For those that may or may not be lurking, The Hubster and I are in a bit of a limbo right now, what with jobs and states of residence in question. This has been going on for two and a half months. And let me tell you, two and a half months in Limbo can really shrivel up your funny bone. I was so happy five months ago. My old, high school-type sense of humor was finally coming back. My goofy, sarcastic, strange mind was being reborn. I was finally feeling good about myself and my situation, and it was showing in the way I was relating to people (in the real world and in the blogosphere). But I've lost that in the last few months. So not only is my situation stressing me out, but the loss of my ability to see the hilarity in situations is making me sad.

Anywho... So, there it is. My list of excuses. TB, I'm sorry I can't do more for you. I promise that once The Hubster makes his decisions and I know where our lives are headed, I'll be back. Even if we end up down in NoCal, I'll be on my dial-up internet, pounding away on the keyboard until late in the night. Just to make up for all the wasted time.

Then again, maybe I'll just super-caffeinate myself everyday with Cherry Coke and a couple of Midol. It seemed to work yesterday.....

Edited to add: I'm not saying I don't want to talk about my life on my blog. It is, after all, MY blog. I'm just saying I don't want to depress everyone with my angst-ridden musings about how horrible my world is. Because my world isn't really horrible. It's just...well...out of whack right now. Thanks, sisters, for your encouraging words. I will keep writing, and trying to find the humor in my life.

Some pics from The Hubster

Here are some pictures The Hubster recently took. Aren't the kiddos cute?

The Girl's newest art piece.

So, The Girl isn't the most creative artist. She doesn't usually draw very detailed pictures. So, when she drew this today, I had to put it on here. She put a lot of thought into this. It is for our neighbor, who is big into gardening.

It is someone's castle with their garden out front. There is a carrot, a couple of oranges, and some cabbage. The red spotted thing is "just a statue."

Idn't she cute?

WERD of the Day

sole 1. The undersurface of the foot. 2. The undersurface of a shoe or boot. 3. The part on which an object rests while standing esp. a) the bottom surface of a plow. b) the bottom surface of the head of a golf club.

Use it in a sentence: I like squishing spiders with the sole of my shoe!

Patience

Dear God:

Hi. Yeah, it's me again. I've got something to ask you. I know everyone always says not to pray for patience. Because, then, you know, I'll get tested to build up my patience. But at this point, I'm desperate. I'm already being majorly tested, so I'll ask for it anyway.

Please give me patience with The Girl. She is turning into someone I don't know, and I'm trying to hold on to who she was. My sweet, obedient, good little girl. She's not so obedient now. She's still sweet, and good...at heart. But she's got this attitude. And this whiny voice. And this tendency to pick up the bad habits of her friends. Like Neighbor Boy. Sometimes I don't want her to play with him anymore, because she seems to come home with all the behaviors of his that I loathe. And I don't want to loathe my daughter. Give me patience to teach her what is right, to correct her behavior, and to not kill her in the process.

Please give me patience with The Boy. Because he is, well, a boy. He's loud, he's rambuncious, he doesn't listen, and sometimes, well...he's a bit slow. Help me to remember that he is not The Girl. He's never caught on as quickly as she did, and he probably never will. Help me to be patient when instructing him, instead of getting frustrated and doing it myself. Help me to deal with his screaming without screaming myself. I have no clue what to do with him, Lord, but I know you do. It's not that he is a horrible child. I know he is sweet, and loving. He loves to hug and kiss and cuddle. But it's when he gets himself all wound up that he gets out of control. Help me to keep him alive as well.

Please give me patience with Neighbor Boy. Help me to remember that he is not parented like I parent my children. Help me to remember that at his house, the things he does are okay. Give me the patience to remind him that those things are not okay here. Without killing him.

Please give me patience with The Hubster. He has been so amazing since he has been off work. So helpful and willing to stay with the kids. But his anal-ness is about to drive me crazy. I'm sick of being "reminded" to do things, or questioned about why I haven't done them. Help me to remember that you gave him this part of his personality. And remind me occasionally that if we were in our own place, I'd be acting the same way he is.

Oh yeah. About that being in our own place thing. WHEN'S THAT GONNA' HAPPEN?!?! Guess that's another thing I need patience for. It's been two years that we've been here with my parents. And I'm not quite as close to insanity as I was a while ago. Thanks for that. But help me to be patient, and to know that we will be in our own place when it's your time for us to be in it.

Please give me patience while waiting for this stupid job to go through. I know it is an amazing opportunity, a way for us to have the money we need to pay off bills and have our own place. But I am getting SOOOOOOO tired of waiting. It's been two months already, and the lawyers are "still talking." What's up with that? Are they only talking over lunch or something? I'm at the point now where I just want to give up and move to California. Forget the waiting. Forget the wondering if it's even gonna' happen. At what point do things actually go our way? Grrr....

Okay, I'll stop now. I know you have a plan for us. I know that in my mind. But I don't feel it in my heart. Help me to trust you. Thanks.

Beth

New Feature

"Werd" of the Day

That says "Werd" of the Day, by the way.

overbuy, -bought, -buying, -buys: 1. To buy in excess of what is needed. 2. To buy (stock) on margin in excess of one's ability to provide further security if prices drop. 3. To buy goods beyond one's needs or means.

Use it in a sentence:

When I have my credit card in my hand, I tend to overbuy products from wherever I happen to be. It doesn't matter if it's Wal-Mart, amazon.com, or Safeway. If there is stuff to get, I'm overbuying!

Are you kidding me?!?!

Okay, how long has it been since I've posted something actually worth reading? Let me calculate....TWO AND A HALF MONTHS!!!!! Sheesh. I am a disgrace to the blogging world.

Well, my friends. That is all going to change. I'm back, and I'm better than ever! Well, I'm back, at least. I've taken a very loooong hiatus from blogging, but that is over now.

I've discovered something on my blog-free vacation: I don't like who I am when I'm not blogging. I take others (and myself) WAY too seriously. There is no odd sense of humor. Random thoughts do not randomly come out of my sometimes-random brain...randomly. I am a happier, sillier, funnier person when I am writing in my blog (and reading other peoples' blogs). I think blogging is a release for me (thanks for the psycho-analyzation, TB). A way to empty out my brain at the end of the day. That way, all the goo doesn't leak all over my life at other times.

So, anyway. Hopefully, you should be seeing (I mean reading) more of me in the near future. And hopefully, I'll be back to blog-hopping and comment-posting too.

See you soon!

MY NEW SHIRTS!!!

These are my two newest shirts I ordered. As some of you know, I have a thing for weird shirts. These two are from www.retroduck.com. The order started with the fishing one because we went fishing three times while here in Cali, and I realized how much I liked it. So I wanted to try to find a funky 70s "Hooked on Fishing" t-shirt. And, oh boy, did I ever. I got it on a white with black sleeves baseball shirt. So, here it is:

Then I saw this one and had to get it. I did get it on the pink tee. The cool thing about this site is that you can pick whatever style and color of t-shirt you want. So, here's the soccer one:


So, there they are. Here are some pics of other shirts I have ordered recently:

So, there they are. Enjoy!!! And yeah, yeah, I know. This probably wasn't exactly the post you wanted to see, TB. But deal with it!!! I'll try to write something when I get home. We may have some exciting news to post soon. We'll see...

This joke knows no age....

The Hubster and I were laying The Boy down for bed tonight. Here's how it went:

The Boy: Guess what?
Us: What?
The Boy: Chicken Butt!

He's only two and a half, for gosh sakes!!! Where did he learn that already?

Of course, once we laughed, he could stop saying "Chicken Butt!" and laughing hysterically.

Can you tell who our family comedian is going to be? Yeah, him.

The Boy, in all his glory!

Here is some video of The Boy. I think this best shows all sides of his personality. And how quickly he can change from one to the other. Enjoy!


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